Far Above Rubies: Books, again. ♥

‎"For each life is a book, not to be read, but rather a story to be written. The Author starts each life story, but each life will write his or her ending." -Max Lucado, 'A Gentle Thunder'

I bought two books this weekend. Again, even while I still have a hundred unread books piled inside balikbayan boxes at home, and others halfway read on my bedside table. I just can't get a grip on myself when it comes to books. Strangely, I love them more when they're pre-loved (this is the modern take on "second-hand", I noticed). I like them dog-eared, annotated, and with personal notes written on the margins.

Last Sunday I bought this book from our senior pastor at Victory Greenhills. It's Max Lucado's 'A Gentle Thunder'. I'm familiar with Lucado even before I became Christian, but I haven't read any of his books. He was the favorite of bookish Christian friends. I remember one particular college classmate who carried Lucado books around school and read during the breaks. and I remember quite well how she'd break into laughter, and then smile in reverie, always seeming to dwell in a place of comfort far away from all of us. I used to think there is something peculiar about Christians. How they seem to always be happy and peaceful, amid the noise surrounding them. My girl classmates who were Christian always seemed so well-groomed, always cheerful, and yes, pretty. I thought being prayerful and reading the Bible had something to do with it. So I joined their weekly fellowship. Thinking back, it may have been a rather lousy reason to join a Bible group, but I'm glad I did. I do have that glow now, actually. That and a lot more. ♥

Back to the book, aheh. ^^ It was on sale on the pastor's Facebook page. I found the title interesting: 'A Gentle Thunder: Hearing God Through the Storm.' I paid 200 pesos for it, and got a pleasant bonus. A prayer from our senior pastor, no less. Pastor Dennis prayed for my healing and restoration. It was the first time I got to sit down with him, too. What a blessing!

I immediately read through a few chapters from the book when I got home. I was just leafing through at first, but I found myself done with four chapters already! I was so engrossed that I had to put down my current read in favor of this book. Some paragraphs brought me in the verge of tears, some made me burst in laughter, some evoked "a-ha" moments, while some just made me pause and say, "I love you, Lord" in awe. God definitely uses different means just to get our attention. He got mine for sure. :)

Here's another book I bought during the weekend. Last Saturday, I watched 'The Amazing Spiderman' with my good friend Adrian at Trinoma. We had such a good time. While at the mall, I remembered a book I saw at the book sale exactly a month ago. It was a story about a woman who was raped in her home. Despite the tragedy that befell her and her family, she trusted her life to God and she even asked God to forgive her attacker for "he did not know what he was doing." It amazed me how a woman could just surrender everything to God, even in the midst of such evil. I wanted to buy the book, but didn't have the money that time. I remembered about it and asked Adrian if we could see if it was still at the shelf. Thank, God it was! I bought it right away.

While waiting for the movie to start, Adrian and I sat at Krispy Kreme while I browsed my new book. A line from the first chapter struck me... hard. In it, Heather wrote a poem to her rapist, forgiving him for what he'd done. In the last line, she wrote: "I will not be your captive."

That hit me. At first, I wondered why Heather would forgive her rapist. She had bore him a daughter, a child she didn't want in the first place. He entered her home, threatened to kill her and her kids, defiled her body and even robbed them. She had to go through persecution and shame. She'd gone through numerous tests for sexually-transmitted disease and had to recount her experience to doctors, police, social workers and neighbors, reliving the trauma over and over.

I would understand if she hated him and willed him to die. Won't we all? But she didn't. She even prayed for him while he was assaulting her! She even blessed him for sparing her babies! I found this absurd and almost impossible. Until I realized that by forgiving, Heather was actually doing herself a favor.

You see, we become slaves of that which we cannot forgive. Whenever we hold a grudge against anyone, we still think about them. Their lives continue to affect us... their sins haunt us. Like being raped over and over. Heather stopped the cycle by forgiving. Thereby, giving herself peace. She's no longer her rapist's "captive". Her forgiveness set her free.

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realising you were the prisoner!” -Max Lucado

The wisdom of these authors have so much to teach me. It was no accident that I found my way to these pre-loved books. They are to impart on me very valuable lessons. God speaks. He just did to me. :)