Why pray?

I confess. I hardly prayed. Most of the time, my prayers were trite and rushed:

"Lord, please help me find a case study."
"Lord, don't let me be stuck in traffic or I'll be late." 

My prayers come out of desperation. They come when I feel like I've exhausted everything, done all that I could, to no avail. Prayer for me is an appeal for divine intervention when all hope is lost. In short, prayer usually becomes my "last resort." 

The same is true to many. When we are faced with adversity, we often try to weed our way out of our problems with our own efforts. We trust so much that our abilities and strength are enough to help us overcome our obstacles. But as humans, we are limited. We can only do so much. Trying to solve our troubles with our own effort is much like rowing against a mighty current. We may row as hard as we can, for hours on end, but it will all be in vain for we are fighting a stronger, more formidable force. If there is one thing I learned, is that I CANNOT overcome my problems on my own. And I don't have to. I learned to trust in a higher power. Now, whenever I have to cross turbulent waters, I let go of the oars, hand them over to my Savior through prayer, and let Him steer the boat wherever He wishes to lead me.

My changed perspective on prayer

Prayer is submission to a higher power. It teaches humility. It is admitting our shortcomings to the Lord and knowing that apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5).

We are all made to suffer adversity. Jesus himself had said, "The world will make you suffer." (John 16:33). Jesus warned his children that in the world they will face persecution, famine, rejection, and all sorts of tribulation. However, Jesus did not end there. There was a "but" statement. The whole verse reads, "The world will make you suffer, BUT be brave! I have defeated the world."

Remember that Jesus Christ was flesh. He roamed the earth among sinners. He too, went hungry. He too, suffered persecution. He, like us, had been betrayed. He was tortured, crucified and died for sins he did not make. The world made Him suffer, just as it did us sinners. But there is ONE thing He did that we cannot. "...he rose again on the third day" (1Corinthians 13:4). By overcoming death, Jesus defeated the world.

Let me offer a little context. Death is often regarded as the "great equalizer." It is inevitable, and it happens to everyone -- it happens to both the rich and the poor, the sinner and the saint. When Jesus rose from the dead, He proved that His power is above us. He did what none of us, or those before us could do. That even though He lived as flesh and blood, He is Lord even over death.

And while we most certainly deserved our lot, Jesus did not. He needed not suffer. But He endured these sufferings in order to save us and make us right again in the eyes of the Father. It was all out of love -- a holy and immeasurable kind of love.

Having a deeper understanding of Christ's love and sacrifice has also taught me the value of prayer. I know that there is a God who loves me, and has suffered with me and FOR me. A God who knows the way the of the world, and yet did not conform to the world. Praying means trusting Him who had overcome the world and all its tribulation. Praying means the Lord is our ally. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:28)

Why pray?

Some people find it hard to pray. Friends have told me they don't know how to pray (as if there is a template or guideline to follow). Some find it embarrassing. While others think praying should be confined in church and other "holy" places. My own misconception was that I didn't need to pray because God already knows my heart's desires. But the truth is, God is pleased when we turn to Him. Don't our earthly fathers love it when we run to them for advice or help with our problems? Same is true with our heavenly Father. He wants us to be dependent on Him. In fact, the bible tells us to "pray without ceasing." (1Thessalonians 5:17).

So why do we pray?


1. We pray because God tells us to do so. There are numerous references to prayer in the bible:

"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Luke 11:19) 

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you." (John 15:7) 

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask for when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." (Mark 11:24) 

"Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving." (Colossians 4:2) 

"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation." (Matthew 26:41) 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in anything with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God." (Philippians 4:6)

2.  Prayer is a conversation with God.


Praying is a privilege to commune with God. He is a personal God. He loves it when we talk to Him about our problems and ask Him for help. Doesn't the bible refer to Jesus as our friend? ("Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down His life for His friends." - John 15:13) Jesus is our friend. He wants us to tell Him our secrets (although He knows them already, He wants intimacy with us. He wants to know we trust Him with our secrets, the way we share to our friends.)

When I went through a difficult phase in my life, I had lost many of my old friends. With no one to turn to, I learned to talk to God. And believe me, the conversation is not one-way. God answers when we talk to Him. Like what Ms. Dyan Castillejo (yes, the famous TV personality, who became a good friend because of our bible study group) said, God is spirit, so He will speak to our spirits. His is not an audible voice (although many claimed to have heard an audible voice of God.) His message could come in the form of a bible verse, a song, a line from a book, etc. We should always be keen enough to discern the voice of God. Also, it helps to have a deep understanding and personal relationship with God in order for you to "hear" His voice. Just as we recognize a friend's voice from constant communication, talking regularly to God in prayer will help you identify His voice amid a multitude of noise.

3. Prayer provides comfort and rest.

Submitting to God our problems through prayers is like lifting our burdens off our backs. It is giving God the authority to step in and take the reins from our hands, because we know that we just cannot do it alone. Isn't it comforting to know that there is an almighty God who offers to carry your load for you when it gets too overwhelming to bear? God has called all those who are weary and burdened, and promised to give them rest (Matthew 11:28). God does not wish for us to strain our backs with all our heavy baggage, He promises to carry it for us as long as we trust Him for the job. If He had died on the cross for our sins, then I don't see what else He cannot do for us!

That one guy...

All girls deserve to be loved by that one guy who sees them as the most beautiful thing in all the world. ♥

Girls, never settle for anything less than that one guy God has chosen for you. That one guy that sees you for the gem that you are. Remember, God sees you as his princess. He says you are "priced far above rubies" (Proverbs 31:10) If the Lord of all the earth sees you as such, then I don't see why any mere man shouldn't.

The wait may be longer than you wish, your meeting may not be as romantic as you've always hoped for, or he may not look anything close to the guy of your dreams, but remember, if he is that one guy God has selected for your mate, he will be so much worth the wait.

So long, Dolphy

Philippine cinema's comedy king Rodolfo "Dolphy" Vera Quizon had made his final curtain call. 

Dolphy joined His creator yesterday, July 10, 2012 at 8:34 pm. He succumbed to multiple organ failure "secondary to complications brought about by severe pneumonia, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and acute renal failure." He was 83. (He would've turned 84 on July 25th.)

I grew up watching his movies and sitcoms. As a kid, me and my siblings would be glued to the television on Thursday nights. We sat around the dinner table, sang along the theme song of 'Home Along the Riles' (I'm surprised I still know the lyrics!) and laughed at the antics of Kevin Cosme and his outrageous family. The sitcom ran for 11 years, the longest running comedy series in Philippine TV history. Now that I am working for TV production myself, I could imagine the long hours, the hard work and sacrifices the staff and its actors had dedicated to the program. But more than the wonderfully-written script and the equally talented cast, the show's longevity was apparently due to Dolphy's impeccable comic timing, which never waned even as he aged. I found him as funny in his last television guestings as he was as Kevin Cosme, and as he was way back when I used to watch reruns of 'John and Marsha' on channel 9. Laughter was his gift. He deserved to be called the "King of Comedy . And I believe it will take a while for anyone to take his place for he'd left very big shoes to fill.

I may have not known him personally, but I count myself fortunate to have had a glimpse of his remains, thrice during the public viewing here at ABS-CBN. He looked peaceful. He knew he was loved -- by his family, by the industry he loved as much, by the entire nation. But more than anything, I know had rested at the thought that he IS loved first and foremost by His creator.  

"To live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21; NIV)

We are nomads here on earth. This is not our home. Everything we do on earth is in preparation for the eternal life that the Lord has promised us.  

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." (John 14:2)

In this world, we will suffer. We suffer from persecution, we suffer from ailments, we suffer from poverty, we suffer from pain. But like Paul has declared in Romans 8:18, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" Let us not focus our eyes in the temporal joys of this world, but rather, let us set our sights in God's promise of everlasting life in paradise. Where there is no more persecution, no hunger, no ailments, no suffering.

Truth is, my greatest fear used to be death. But when I came to know Christ as my Lord and my Savior, I am no longer as afraid as I was before. I know that to die is gain. I am sure of my salvation. And I eagerly await that day when I'll come face to face with my Creator and sing praises to him with the angels. ♥

Long live, Dolphy. Thank you for the laughter. 

My SuperHERO ♥

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31; NIV

Books, again. ♥

‎"For each life is a book, not to be read, but rather a story to be written. The Author starts each life story, but each life will write his or her ending." -Max Lucado, 'A Gentle Thunder'

I bought two books this weekend. Again, even while I still have a hundred unread books piled inside balikbayan boxes at home, and others halfway read on my bedside table. I just can't get a grip on myself when it comes to books. Strangely, I love them more when they're pre-loved (this is the modern take on "second-hand", I noticed). I like them dog-eared, annotated, and with personal notes written on the margins.

Last Sunday I bought this book from our senior pastor at Victory Greenhills. It's Max Lucado's 'A Gentle Thunder'. I'm familiar with Lucado even before I became Christian, but I haven't read any of his books. He was the favorite of bookish Christian friends. I remember one particular college classmate who carried Lucado books around school and read during the breaks. and I remember quite well how she'd break into laughter, and then smile in reverie, always seeming to dwell in a place of comfort far away from all of us. I used to think there is something peculiar about Christians. How they seem to always be happy and peaceful, amid the noise surrounding them. My girl classmates who were Christian always seemed so well-groomed, always cheerful, and yes, pretty. I thought being prayerful and reading the Bible had something to do with it. So I joined their weekly fellowship. Thinking back, it may have been a rather lousy reason to join a Bible group, but I'm glad I did. I do have that glow now, actually. That and a lot more. ♥

Back to the book, aheh. ^^ It was on sale on the pastor's Facebook page. I found the title interesting: 'A Gentle Thunder: Hearing God Through the Storm.' I paid 200 pesos for it, and got a pleasant bonus. A prayer from our senior pastor, no less. Pastor Dennis prayed for my healing and restoration. It was the first time I got to sit down with him, too. What a blessing!

I immediately read through a few chapters from the book when I got home. I was just leafing through at first, but I found myself done with four chapters already! I was so engrossed that I had to put down my current read in favor of this book. Some paragraphs brought me in the verge of tears, some made me burst in laughter, some evoked "a-ha" moments, while some just made me pause and say, "I love you, Lord" in awe. God definitely uses different means just to get our attention. He got mine for sure. :)

Here's another book I bought during the weekend. Last Saturday, I watched 'The Amazing Spiderman' with my good friend Adrian at Trinoma. We had such a good time. While at the mall, I remembered a book I saw at the book sale exactly a month ago. It was a story about a woman who was raped in her home. Despite the tragedy that befell her and her family, she trusted her life to God and she even asked God to forgive her attacker for "he did not know what he was doing." It amazed me how a woman could just surrender everything to God, even in the midst of such evil. I wanted to buy the book, but didn't have the money that time. I remembered about it and asked Adrian if we could see if it was still at the shelf. Thank, God it was! I bought it right away.

While waiting for the movie to start, Adrian and I sat at Krispy Kreme while I browsed my new book. A line from the first chapter struck me... hard. In it, Heather wrote a poem to her rapist, forgiving him for what he'd done. In the last line, she wrote: "I will not be your captive."


That hit me. At first, I wondered why Heather would forgive her rapist. She had bore him a daughter, a child she didn't want in the first place. He entered her home, threatened to kill her and her kids, defiled her body and even robbed them. She had to go through persecution and shame. She'd gone through numerous tests for sexually-transmitted disease and had to recount her experience to doctors, police, social workers and neighbors, reliving the trauma over and over.

I would understand if she hated him and willed him to die. Won't we all? But she didn't. She even prayed for him while he was assaulting her! She even blessed him for sparing her babies! I found this absurd and almost impossible. Until I realized that by forgiving, Heather was actually doing herself a favor.

You see, we become slaves of that which we cannot forgive. Whenever we hold a grudge against anyone, we still think about them. Their lives continue to affect us... their sins haunt us. Like being raped over and over. Heather stopped the cycle by forgiving. Thereby, giving herself peace. She's no longer her rapist's "captive". Her forgiveness set her free.

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realising you were the prisoner!”  -Max Lucado

The wisdom of these authors have so much to teach me. It was no accident that I found my way to these pre-loved books. They are to impart on me very valuable lessons. God speaks. He just did to me. :)

My handsome "brother" Adrian

Tickets!

*Note: Since I'm acquiring more books, but with no time to read, I'm setting myself a one-book-a-month challenge. That would let me finish at least six books by the end of the year. Yay!
 

Click HERE to read what Adrian wrote about our movie date. ♥ Would you believe he called me "sexy"? I know, right? :D

To you, ladies

Focus your heart on God. Place your heart firmly in His care and trust that He will not hand it over to anyone other than the man He has chosen for you.

The "three month rule"

I was cleaning my room the other morning and found a note stashed among my pile of books. It was a letter (though not addressed to anyone in particular) that I wrote exactly three months after the break-up.

I'm naturally a sucker for anniversaries (or monthsarries). I remember that the first two months since that fateful day were still very difficult. Writing had been my therapy and I think I've written enough letters to him (which I did not send, of course) to publish a book. When I discovered this note and read it again, I realized how my perspectives have changed since I became a Christian. All the past hurts and regrets were gone, and in their wake came forgiveness and peace. I didn't think it was possible to forgive someone who has truly hurt us. But since God has made me feel loved and forgiven, I am also able to forgive. I am now able to pray for him and wish him the best, as though he had not hurt me at all.

I've also become stronger and wiser. In the past three months, knowing Christ and embracing my faith has been the best thing to happen to me. I wish every woman who has ever been hurt would come to know the healing power of knowing Jesus and surrendering to His will. I believe that He has a man for me at the right time. For now, I choose to wait patiently and joyfully for God's promises to unveil.

♥♥♥

It was exactly three months ago when I last saw him – and it didn’t end pretty. Looking back, I wish we had parted more amicably. Unfortunately, life does not give in to rewinds or second chances and whatever transpired that night is what we would remember of each other. It was, as fate would have it, a sweet decade-long relationship that ended with a slap in his face. Although i admit to feeling quite victorious right after the deed, I now wish that I hadn’t hurt him that way. I wish the last vision he saw of me wasn’t of anger and revenge. But then, maybe he deserved it. After all, it was him who left and dumped me for another woman.

I barely remember most of the events. I guess, it is our natural tendency to shut out painful memories – a sort of defense mechanism. When people ask, I always willingly share with them his indiscretions, his lies and his “woman”. That made me feel better for some time, as the sympathies always sided with me. It was until a few weeks after that fateful night, during moments of calm and reflection, that I realized how much I had to do with the demise of our relationship after all.

It is always easy to blame the person who left the other when it comes to break-ups. I was so consumed in my own pain and bitterness that I failed to see my own shortcomings that might’ve caused him to leave me. “It is hard to see the trees if you stand too close to the forest”. It usually takes a step back in order to see things more clearly. After the break-up, I had more time in my hands and had often used them to agonize about what happened. It hadn’t made sense to me then why we’d break up. We were happy, at least I thought we were. A month before he broke up with me, we were in a coffee shop discussing marriage; we were thinking names for our babies; we were planning a lifetime together. In all the euphoria, what I failed to see were the signs – the small things. They seemed so petty then, easy to overlook; but put together, they were the disease that plagued the fortress we had built together over the years.

It turned out, I had become too dependent on him for everything. He was my escape from my troubled family life. I sought rest in him from the stresses of my job. I made him play the roles of people I have shunned from my life. I clung to him desperately, because I had no one. No friends, no family. I had made him the center of my universe and everything revolved around him. Sadly, too, I made him Lord of my life. Eventually, my neediness consummed him, until he had nothing left to give... until it was him who was needing. That was when, I figured, he had turned to someone else.

The first few weeks were devastating. It was hard not to think of him when we had spent half of our lives together. Mornings were especially hard, since he waking up next to him had always been my most favorite thing in the world to do. There wasn’t a night that I didn’t cry for him. I tried to win him back. I appealed to his guilt, i pleaded, begged, hoped... but he rejected me everytime. It hurt me so much to think how the same man who loved me for 10 years could get so callous and treat me as though I meant nothing. I remember punishing myself for what happened. I blamed myself for days and weeks – refusing to eat or sleep and just focused on work to keep me busy. It became an unhealthy routine, until I was confined to the office clinic and was diagnosed with Vertigo. I texted him that I was sick, hoping he’d be moved and perhaps want to get back together with me. But he didn’t. I was being my needy self again. If anything, I think it drove him even farther away; while I grew more miserable by the day.

I had dragged on like this for weeks, until one day, an officemate saw me puffy-eyed in the ladies room just after another bout with tears. She invited me to a Christian fellowship the next day where Manny Pacquiao will share his testimony. At first, I was more interested in meeting Pacquaio than learning what he had to share about the Bible. But during his testimony, I was so moved, and for once, I had completely forgotten the mess that I was in. I found the peace I was seeking for that night. I don’t know if it was Pacquiao, but the Lord’s message spoke to me, roused something within me, that after that night, found myself wanting more of that peace.
I found that peace in God.

After that night, I joined a bible study group at the office. I later learned that two other members have recently gone through break-ups as well. They’ve been my steady stream of support throughout the ordeal.  We shared stories, our losses and helped each other make sense of our pain. Now, we remain good friends and we continue to pray for each other’s healing.

It was also this time when I started reading the Bible. Though I’ve always been a reader, and had attended Catholic school, I've never been fond of reading the Bible. Now, through the help of my Christian friends (and the Holy Spirit, of course) I read the Bible everyday. In fact, I bring my Bible EVERYday. I immerse myself in God’s word day and night, and it has never failed to provide me with the answers and the comfort I need.

It is true that our seasons of need and weakness are meant to turn us back to God. The Bible says, “...because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants His children to have.” (2Corinthians 7:9; NLT) The pain of the break-up had opened my eyes and made me realize how much I have sinned against God, for having loved a man more than Him. Not only have I deserted my faith, I have abandoned my family and friends and have set aside even myself, all for his love. It had finally made sense. It was meant to happen so that change in me could take place. And little by little, as I grow in my faith, I learned to trust in what the Lord has planned for me – and along with this understanding, came acceptance and healing.

“...keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” (1John 5:21) After i lost him, and started seeking God, I witnessed all my other relationships get restored. I returned home to my family and now enjoy a fuller and healthier relationship with my parents and siblings. I have also reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I have also learned to value myself. Renewing my faith has helped me strive to become a better person. I am now giving more attention to my health. So far, i have lost 10Lbs (4kilos) by eating healthy and exercising. I’ve also been getting a lot of compliments, telling me that I look happier and more beautiful. I say, “it is the glow that comes from the Lord.” And it is true!

There is an unwritten rule in break-ups. They call it the three-month rule. It means it should take three months after a break-up before someone could enter into another relationship. I’m past the three months now, and I’m giving myself a high-five and a pat on the back for a wonderful job of keeping myself together, with God’s grace, of course. They say that the only way to get over a break up is to fall in love with someone – and I have! I fell in love with Jesus. I know that the Lord has someone in store for me at the right time. For now, it’ll just be me and my God.

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me.And he turned to me and heard my cry.He lifted me out of the pit of despair,Out of the mud and the mire.He set my feet on solid groundAnd steadied me as i walked along.He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.Many will see what He has done and be amazed.They will put their trust in the Lord.” (Psalm 40:1-3; NLT)