Letter to my unknown husband

When my friend Tin first learned I was starting a Christian blog, she recommended I read Paul's Ponderings, which she has been following for two years now. One of my favorite posts was about the author's prayers for his "unknown wife." (the articles are now archived under the "singles" category in his blog since he is now married to the love of his life!)

For years, Paul has made it his habit to pray for his then-unknown wife three times every day. Talk about devotion! He cites two reasons for doing this:

"During each time of prayer I say a prayer for my wife. I do this for two reasons. The first reason is to lay her life in the hands of God, teaching myself to trust Him to guide and protect her life. The second reason is to help my heart form an attachment to her, even though we are apart. I need to be constantly reminded that what I do right now will eventually effect her as well."

Upon reading his entries, I immediately fell in love with the idea, and being a single Christian woman, I thought it was just rightful to pray for my future mate. I think it is also a pretty reasonable thing to do. After all, whatever becomes of him will affect the rest of my life as well. Lately, I have been including my "unknown husband" in my prayers too, and I lay it upon God's wisdom to choose the perfect man to be my lifetime partner.

The other night, (Wenesday, September 5, 2012), I wrote a letter to my unknown husband. Here goes:

Dear unknown husband,

A little earlier, I was walking home alone. It was either the full moon or the long conversation I just had with a friend about the future that inspired me to write to you. Whatever it is, I’m really excited to be writing you this letter. There are about a hundred things I want you to know about me. But I think I’ll save that for later. After all, we’ve got the rest of our lives to get to know each other.

I don’t know who you are, what kind of family you were raised into, what course you took up in college, what work you do, what your favorites are, or even how you look. All I’m sure is this: you are my answered prayer.

Since I want a married life that is aligned with God’s will, I’ve recently stopped trying to look for the qualities I want from every prospective, single guy I meet, hoping that he’d be “the one.” I realized that every attempt to control my love life ends in frustration, regret and futility. Finally taking a cue from the Bible, I learned to “be still” (Psalm 46:10) and wait for that one man God has been preparing for my mate. Instead of dictating the specifics, I prayed to God to take the pen from my hands and start writing my love story as He wishes. I surrender completely to His bidding, knowing that He knows what’s best for me. Trusting fully that God’s will is always “good, pleasing and perfect” (Romans 12:2), I’ve learned to expect nothing less from the man the Lord has chosen for me – you.

When I pray to God for you, I do not ask Him for your eyes to be blue, or for you to have a law degree, or a big house and a hotshot car. When I pray about you, I pray for one thing. I ask God to bless my life with a man who loves Him more than anything in the world. I pray for a man with whom I will share a love that pleases God. I want not just any relationship, I want one that will endure. I want the kind of union that will serve and honor God. I want to be one-half of a couple whose life testimony will inspire and influence others to be the same.

I want a man whose first love is the Lord.

I want to build a relationship with Christ in the center. I’ve seen too many relationships broken because they have laid out their foundations on unstable ground. I don’t want to commit the same mistake. That is why I refuse to settle for anything less than a God-ordained relationship. A couple whose relationship is one that is deeply-rooted in Christ is "like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built." (Luke 6:48; NLT)

With Christ as the cornerstone, our home will be made of solid-rock foundation – one that is anchored in high moral and spiritual values. Our love, which comes from the Lord, is deep and true. I know I can trust in you to protect me and love me even as our hairs turn grey or if I put on some weight. And you can trust me to remain faithful and serve you all the days of our lives.

I promise to be your partner and friend first, wife second. I will eagerly listen to you when you rant about your day’s work, or when you simply want to tell a joke. More than being a wife who feeds you well, massages your tired body and makes you feel good about yourself, I promise to support you in everything you do, even when it sounds overly absurd or ambitious. I'll forever be your number one fan. Above all, I promise that you will have a wife who will always love you no matter what. A wife you could go home to and feel loved and secure every single time.

I want no one else but you.

I do not mind waiting. Take your time. Be all that you want to be. Savor life and all its possibilities. Take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way while I do the same. You are God’s gift to me. And I know that the Lord has saved our meeting for a special time – that is, when we are both ready. Right now, I am using this season of waiting to be the perfect gift to you as well. Please know that I am committing myself to you. I am saving my heart and self only for you. I want to be the wife you will be proud of and thankful for.

For now, I surrender my heart to God for safe-keeping. He’ll guard and nurture it for His appointed time. I know that He will guard it dearly and will not just hand it over to anyone but you. Rest assured in this. The wait could take months or years, but knowing what wonderful gift awaits me… a long and fruitful married life with you, I know it will be so worth it.

Wherever you are right now, may God keep you cloaked in His love and protection. And I trust that God, in His perfect time and season, will bring us together. In the meantime, I pray that the Lord will help both of us get prepared for that joyous occasion. I wait for that day in happy anticipation.

Take care, my love.

Loving you already,

Ela