I've been planning to start a blog -- not that I've never kept one. I have been blogging for at least four years now, though it has neither made me rich nor popular like the others. I believe that blogging, more than anything, should be an avenue for self expression, and since then has served as my only motivation in writing.
Currently, I have one other blog active that I no longer update. I stopped blogging in March, about three months ago. I was then still reeling from an awful life episode, and since not everyone was willing to listen to my rants and wails, I returned to blogging after a long hiatus -- only to quit again right after. The last few entries on that blog talked about the bitterness of love lost, desperate calls for reconciliation, anger, resentment and most terrible of all, regret. I realized that, although I have kept true to my ideals that writing should be to express oneself, it wasn't healthy to write excessively about negative experiences, most especially on a platform like the internet where people could easily access my posts.
Revisiting my old blog was a revelation -- a startling one, actually. Re-reading through those articles filled with anger and remorse had only caused old wounds to resurface. It wasn't the kind of message I want to share as the world has enough troubles of its own already. What it doesn't need is one lonely girl wallowing over her broken heart and sharing it on social media for
What people need is a good story, a beacon of light to shine through our dark times. I want to be the bearer of good news, the living testimony of God's healing and transformative power.
The bible calls us the "light of the world." (Matthew 5:14), no one lights a lamp and puts it under a dome. A light should be exposed for all to see. I want to encourage those who are going through adversities to put their trust in Him like I did and experience immense love and happiness that only our Lord can give.
It has been three months. A lot has happened -- most of them good. After having been in a decade-long relationship, I dreaded singlehood. I was devastated at the demise of our relationship, thinking that nothing good will ever happen to me ever again and I that I am doomed to be alone forever. It took me a while to finally make sense of what happened and appreciate this "season" in my life where I am no longer bound to another person. With this loss, all my other relationships were restored -- I went back home to my family, rekindled my relationship with my siblings, reconnected with friends and made new ones. Most importantly, I have developed a deeper relationship and understanding of God. I embraced the joy of surrendering fully to Him and offering all that I am to His glory. I have learned to forgive the people who wronged me -- including letting go of childhood disappointments, and in turn, learned to forgive myself.
It's like being born again, to be saved and loved by Christ. My old insecurities were gone, too. As I begin to see myself as God sees me -- his princess. No longer do I blame myself for every failure, believing fully that everything happens for a reason... that "all things work together for the good of those who love Him." (Romans 8:28; NIV)
This is the message I want to share: the power of faith and healing. I made this new blog so I could share how wonderfully the Lord has saved me and transformed me into a woman that I am now -- single, happy and in so in love with my savior Jesus Christ. ♥
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| I am God's well-kept woman |
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